Many people experience their sexual orientation as ‘fixed’,
that is, unchanging. Even if they deeply wish to change, or are
subjected to therapies and efforts to change, deep down it stays
the same. Some people find however, that their orientation is
‘fluid’ and that their attraction can change over the years, or
even day to day.
Sexual preferences are not set in stone and can change over
time, often depending on the immediate situation the individual is
in. This has been described as sexual fluidity. For example, if
someone identifies as heterosexual but then finds themselves in an
environment with only people of the same gender, they might feel
increased sexual or romantic attraction to those same-gender
partners. Like any other social trait, sexual preferences,
attitudes, behaviours and identity can be flexible to some
degree.
This can make people uncomfortable, and may lead to diagnoses
such as Borderline Personality Disorder or DID. In reality, fluid
identity in itself is not sufficient for any diagnosis, and many
people embrace their fluidity and live with it – being fluid may be
something they can’t change.
Having an experience of diverse gender identity is simply part
of the normal variation of human experience, and occurs in cultures
throughout the world. ‘Transgender’ is often used as an umbrella
term for the many different ways a persons gender identity may be
different from the gender they were thought to be at birth. It
doesn’t mean anything about who a person is attracted to, it’s
about their own sense of self.Many trans people experience no sense
of multiplicity whatsoever. Many people with multiplicity have no
trans experiences at all.
For other people, their introduction to their own multiplicity
is through trying to make sense of their sexual
orientation.Sometimes people are exploring identity, trying to find
something that feels like a good fit, and every label they find
feels like it’s not quite right, or not right all the time.
Sometimes the issue is that people have been told they have to
be one thing or the other – straight or otherwise, for example. It
can help a lot to realise that many people identify as bisexual or
pansexual because they find they are attracted to more than gender.
This does’t mean you are multiple or that anything is wrong. If
there’s experiences of multiplicity present, it may be that parts
have orientations that are different to each other.
If people are threatened or ashamed of diverse sexuality, this
can be a reason they deny multiplicity and reject other parts.