Question

If you are "Crazy in Love," can it REALLY be Love?

In other words, is the positive moral quality of Love enhanced -- or lost -- when we love outside the limits of reason?

If you'd rather, you can discuss other virtues such as compassion, generosity, courage, etc.

Please explain with examples.

Answer 1

The positive moral quality of Love is rather lost than enhanced when we love outside the limits of reason.

Many a times when individuals love outside the limits of reason, they end up forming delusions, and form high expectations out of the object (living or non-living), which can become an obsessive and an unhealthy habit. Individuals then may start forming delusional images in their mind, which are false, and hence fail to cope with the reality.

Obsessive love is a condition in which one person feels an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess and protect another person toward whom one feels a strong attraction, with an inability to accept failure or rejection.

Though it isn't categorized specifically under any such specific mental diagnosis, many argue that obsessive love is considered to be a mental illness, similar to attachment disorder, borderline personality disorder, and erotomania.

The infatuation stage of romantic love usually occurs in the early months in a healthy love relationship. It can involve persistent thoughts of the love object and wanting to spend every moment with that person. A healthy love relationship usually evolves over time such that it no longer involves the near desperate intensity and fervor of infatuation.

The difference between healthy and obsessive love is that with the latter, those feelings of infatuation become extreme, expanding to the point of becoming obsessions. Obsessive love and jealousy that is delusional is a symptom of mental-health problems and is a symptom that occurs in about 0.1% of adults. Individuals who suffer from delusional jealousy often interpret minor experiences like a coworker saying hello to their spouse or romantic partner looking at a passerby as positive proof that their loved one is being unfaithful.

Depending on the intensity of their attraction, obsessive lovers may feel entirely unable to restrain themselves from extreme behaviors such as acts of violence toward themselves or others.

Obsessive love can have its roots in childhood trauma and may begin at first sight. It aslo tends to root out from insecurity, and low self-esteem, which forms a tendency of requiring excessive reassurance; it may persist indefinitely, sometimes requiring psychotherapy.

Besides delusional jealousy, obsessive love can be distinguished from a healthy love relationship by the presence of addictive qualities. For e.g., the person who suffers from obsessive love tends to want to spend excessive time with their love object, such that they think excessively about and engage in behaviors that put them in touch with their love object to an extreme degree. They may limit how much they engage in recreational activities or other social relationships, even becoming incapacitated to the point of being unable to work. A person who obsessively loves may engage in escalating tools of psychological control, or other forms of control, in an effort to keep their love object close.

Other virtues such as compassion, generosity, courage, etc. when expressed outside the limits of reason doesn't necessarily become unhealthy for the individual as compared to obsessively loving something/someone. However, such a behaviour may come from an individual who is an obsessive lover, and at times may get taxing for such individual, for e.g., others may take advantage of their extreme compassion or generosity. Extreme courage can also land people in trouble, which can be avoided if the person is rational with his/her decisions and behaviour.