Question

In the real world of work, we encounter supervisors, co-workers, and customers who may be exhibiting one or more personality disorders. Lets imagine that you share an office with someone who is borderline. You feel like you need to walk on eggshells all the time around this person. The co-worker's name is Betty and she was diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder. Betty loves to cause conflicts with co-workers and supervisors. She manipulates daily office situations by causing problems purposely to start arguments amongst co-workers. Betty sometimes idealizes you as her office buddy and hates you the next day. Betty also loves to go out and party and drinks alcohol excessively. She comes to work disorganized and tired and leaves you to finish the job. Recently Betty told you she cuts herself with a razor to feel something and she had several unprotected sexual encounters. Betty has constant arguments with her boyfriend whom she hates and loves at the same time depending on the day. As her office mate, you are bothered and disrupted by her explosive anger and moods. Betty also have no boundaries and crosses your comfort zone too often. You have no choice but to share an office with Betty and you also have to work with her on several projects. How can you draw a clear boundary with Betty and what will you do so that there is stability in your office life?

Answer 1

The ways to draw a clear boundary with Betty are as following:

• Instead of expecting Betty to change her behavior accepting her as she is, and understanding her behavior.
• Maintaining a stable and moderate relationship with her, that is neither becoming angry at her or avoiding her. Taking care that her mood is not escalated by the avoidance or the anger towards her.
• Focus on the task than maintaining a relationship with her.
• Answer her questions calmly without provoking her
• Responding her with clarification on informations.
• When she has mood escalation not taking it as personal, and telling her calmly that we would have a talk later on clamly.