Question

Comment on what this person did well with the paraphrasing, and what they could have done differently. 150 words

Original paragraph:
“The accepted wisdom about the US overdose crisis singles out prescribing as the causative vector. Although drug supply is a key factor, we posit that the crisis is fundamentally fueled by economic and social upheaval, its etiology closely linked to the role of opioids as a refuge from physical and psychological trauma, concentrated disadvantage, isolation, and hopelessness. Overreliance on opioid medications is emblematic of a health care system that incentivizes quick, simplistic answers to complex physical and mental health needs. In an analogous way, simplistic measures to cut access to opioids offer illusory solutions to this multidimensional societal challenge” (Dasgupta, et al. 2018).
My paraphrase:
The popular judgment concerning the opioid epidemic in the United States, is that the physicians that prescribe drugs, are responsible. Yes, the drugs must come from somewhere, but we postulate that the epidemic is essentially fed by environmental turmoil. This can be associated with ones use of opioids as a haven from trauma, harm, loneliness, and depression. Healthcare, along with the world in general, looks for the instantaneous fix to a complex issue, a major one being mental health. In some ways, the attempts to end the accessibility of opioids are a false solution to a much larger issue (Dasgupta, et all. 2018).

compare the original article to the paraphrased article and comment on what was done well and what could have done better

Answer 1

Positives of given paraphrase :

• Expressed the main idea briefly.
• Rewritten the main ideas in own words

Points to improvise: :

• Do not ignore any key points in original article. "Overreliance on opioid medications is emblematic of a health care system that incentivizes quick, simplistic answers to complex physical and mental health needs." could be rephrased as 'Opioid addiction in large scale represents a carefree health sector that relies on opioid drugs for insatnt relief from physiological or psycological issues'.
• Also the last sentence "In an analogous way, simplistic measures to cut access to opioids offer illusory solutions to this multidimensional societal challenge” could also been simplified as 'Even if a solution to halt the supply of opioids is developed , that dose'nt offer a complete resolution to this multifaceted issue in the society'.