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What is the best way to bring up children so that they are happy, confident, good adults?

Answers:1   |   LastAnswerAt:2010.01  

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Smiley 
Asked at 2010.01.07 01:31:14
I have a 2 year old daughter and having being smothered/over spoilt by a fab/well meaning but worrier of a Dad and having a Mum who was often down/indifferent/inaffectionate I am at the stage where I am beginning to worry how I should treat Em so that she doesn't grow up spoilt or depressed or with too high expectations in life/but at the same time with motivation to follow her aspirations etc..

The way my own parents were led my sister and I into being sometimes depressed/unhappy adults yet both did their best under difficult circumstances so I know they did not intend for things to turn out the way they did..

I too do the best for my wee girl but worry as I say how much is too much or what other things I could be doing to make sure or at least increase the chances that she will be happy/confident/depression free later?
answer Cassandra  Answered at 2010.01.07 01:31:14
Hi there Smiley,

My parents are academics,
and as children, my brothers sister and I, would sit at the table and all things could be discussed.

We were simply told, that we must always be polite. Stand up when an elderly person enters the room, say excuse me, if someone was talking and we needed to say something.

We were never shouted at or slapped. When we did something wrong, we were told why it was wrong, everything was explained in a civilised manner. We were allowed freedom of expression and encouraged to try new things.

We never had to lie, because we could tell our parents everything.

Also, we were taught that we are all free to make our own decisions, but to think, if what we were doing was right, and we understood that from an early age

As we have grown up, we have so much respect for our parents, they led by example. Our family laughed, and laugh a lot.

We were allowed to be children, free to be inventive, free to ask, and then be listened to.

As we are very well adjusted adults it must work, we don't judge, or look up, or down on others, we consider we are equal to anyone, they to us.

So I would say, talk. discuss things, don't scream and shout, it feeds a child's temper, and they become confused, things get worse. Never slap it sets a bad example...

Smiley, you seem to be giving your childs up bringing so much thought. You want the best for her, I'm sure you will have a very contented little girl.

May she have a, Happy And a Fortunate life, with my best wishes to you...

Cassandra
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