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Struggling to explain adoption to my children....?

Answers:1   |   LastAnswerAt:2011.04  

Two Pretty in Pink 
Asked at 2011.04.17 23:35:19
I have 2 little girls whom are adopted. They are now 2 and 3 years old, and starting to gather information about where babies come from by seeing pregnant women, etc. I have explained to them that they didn't grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart....but I don't think they get it yet. I don't think they need an all out explanation just yet, but I feel like i'm not doing enough to educate them on the fact that they are adopted. I don't know many other adoptive families, so I don't have a great source of information on how to raise children to understand/accept the facts of adoption.

Their adoptions are not secret, and I completely understand and respect that they have experienced the loss of their biological families and will mourn that loss over time. I will support them in their search for knowledge and answers when the time comes, I just want them to be well adjusted and not feel ashamed of the fact they are adopted or feel like it's something that should be hushed and not talked about.

Advice greatly appreciated.
answer De  Answered at 2011.04.17 23:35:19
My first born children, twins, were adopted. I started from the beginning telling them they were adopted. Of course, I didn't sit them down and say hey, you were adopted, you had a birth mother and then you have me.
I kept things simpler and on a level they could understand. I told them they did not grow in my tummy but someone else's. I am lucky enough to have ultra sound pictures that the birth mother gave me. I would watch certain shows like Mrs Spider's Sunny patch and we point out that she had some children on there that were adopted. I pointed out examples of it and we would discuss it as they felt comfortable. As they got older they would ask questions. The questions often come when ever they felt that the wanted to know something. What I mean is it was not like we just set down and said okay, we are going to talk about this today. I might be fixing dinner and they would come in and ask a question or question and I would answer them right then. I never put it off. It is part of who they are. But it is not something you can just have a one time talk with and thats that and they know they are adopted. Its something that you build on and let them understand as they mature.
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