Question

Conscious listening is necessary to achieve improved relationships at work and home. How do we listen?   Discuss the many ways in which you listen, at home/at work. Then elaborate on what you learned about conscious listening. In what ways is this different from the way you listen now? Say how following Julian Treasure's recommendations could change your understand of people, of situations at work and in your personal life.

Answer 1

Listening is an amazing skill, but it’s not a natural skill. Conscious-listening is a way of being intentionally present to see, to know and to recognize our own and another’s felt presence and unique value in the relationship.

Conscious communication is an intention, in challenging moments, to remain empathically connected to self and the other, rather than triggered and defensive. When we feel safe enough to be present, we are more likely to express ourself authentically, and thus more likely to be listened to, validated and valued in return.

In conscious communication, both talking and listening skills matter and work together, serving to provide an emotional experience that allows each person to feel safe enough to grow a quality relationship in which key emotional needs (not wants…) are expressed, mutually valued – and met through natural giving – from a place of love and joy, and not fear, shame or guilt.

The different ways in which you listen / communicate at office or work are:

Informational Listening (Listening to Learn)

Critical Listening (Listening to Evaluate and Analyse)

Therapeutic or Empathetic Listening (Listening to Understand Feeling and Emotion)

Appreciative Listening: Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment. A good example is listening to music, especially as a way to relax.

Rapport Listening: When trying to build rapport with others we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like us. A salesman, for example, may make an effort to listen carefully to what you are saying as a way to promote trust and potentially make a sale.

Selective Listening: This is a more negative type of listening, it implies that the listener is somehow biased to what they are hearing. Bias can be based on preconceived ideas or emotionally difficult communications.

Julian Treasure is a sound and communication expert. His vision is for a world that listens consciously and speaks powerfully.

Julian Treasure's recommendations for sound listening are:

1. Silence: Silence of 3 minutes a day helps to reset our ears to quiet so that we can listen well.

       2. The Mixer: Even in a noisy environment, try to listen to as many individual channels as you    can hear and differentiate.

3. Savouring: This is about enjoying the most mundane sounds. For instance, the tumble dryer of a washing machine. We can enjoy any sound as long as we listen.

4. Listening positions: This is the most important one. Moving your listening position to what’s appropriate – active/passive or critical/sympathetic. This helps become conscious of barriers/filters to listening and play around with them.

5. RASA: It’s a Sanskrit word for juice or essence and the acronym stands for Receive, Appreciate, Summary, Ask. It summarises the process of active listening.

To conclude as per Julian's study - he believes that out of 60% listening that one does only 25% is retained where we try make meanings from sounds, draw patterns in our mind respond to differences of culture, religion, background etc and in a way we have forgotten the art of listening but thats extremely important for survival, growth and only concious listening will help improve interpersonal and formal relationships at home and work going on!