Question

Share an instance in which you overheard someone use an evaluative statement or an example of when you did. Remember, an evaluative statement is something like "You ruined my day." or "You hurt my feelings." These types of statements often cause defensive behavior in others, making resolution of the situation more difficult.

How would you revise the statement in your example using the elements of the "I" statements? Do you believe this would be an effective method of encouraging, rather than limiting, discussion? Would this type of technique help resolve the situation?

Answer 1

An evaluative statement that I used recently was “You are not bothered about my feelings”. The statement can be revised to “I feel that you are not bothered about my feelings”. In a way, I do believe that this would be an encouraging discussion because it moves away from blaming another individual for one’s own distress and instead acknowledging one’s perception of the event. Although it may not immediately resolve the situation, it can lead to a constructive discussion.