Question

How often do the Following situations occur in children in a divorce situation? Why do you think these situations occur? What would make it better?

Children in the Middle

• Carrying messages

• “Put downs” of the other parent

• Involvement in money problems

• Using child as a spy

Answer 1

Children living with the divorced parents will go through the toughest time of their life if they live with the parents. The child won't be able to live a normal life as the pressure of satisfying both the parents will become a severe burden on the child.
Carrying messages - Both the parents won't be talking among themselves but will use the child as the post person. This will happen almost everyday.
“Put downs” of the other parent - If the child talks well of a parent, the other one will reject the child. The child if it is very small won't be able to understand what's going on there. It will be confuse why one of the parents always put me down. This will happen occasionally, when there was a fight between the parents.
Involvement in money problems - Both the parents will be rejecting the child by not providing any financial assistance. They would blame each other, especially when the child needs money to support its education.
Using child as a spy - This will be very frequent and the child will be in a turmoil about why it's parents ask it to watch the activities and report. The child too will develop trust issues.

In my point of view, the children in a divorced set up will go through hell a lot of difficulties which the parents neglect to understand from the child's point of view. If they are going to fight like cats and dogs why beget a child and make it suffer without any reason.The parents should sit and decide that they won't bother the child for their selfishness because it's going to affect the life of the child in the future. They both need to come out of their egoistic state to provide a better life for the child or else the child should be taken to care home.