Question

Subject: ENGLISH TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION

Sometimes the best way to communicate isn’t with paragraphs and sentences, but by converting paragraphs into outlines or lists, for instance to organize or condense information for a PowerPoint presentation. Your task for this revision project is to convert the following paragraphs into outlines or lists using bullets or numbers. Often, sentences don’t work very well with lists. So you may need to convert sentences into word phrases. Here is an example:

In order to convert to an outline, do the following:

Break up paragraphs and sentences by using subjects and verbs as a heading, and the objects in a list.

Use bullets or numbers

Condense sentences to word phrases.

Specific Question: With the provided context from above, how can you better improve the following example from an excerpt below?

“One of the common myths associated with occupational health is that men are at greater risk because of the work they do. It is true that men are concentrated in many jobs which are very dangerous like mining, foundry work, and construction. But women also face many of the hazards faced by men. Women are just as susceptible as men to chemicals, dusts, fumes, noise, heat, unsafe machinery, and many other health and safety problems at work.

“In addition, women are concentrated in certain occupations defined as ‘women’s work’ where they are exposed to particular dangers. These include problems of stress, Repetitive Strain Injuries (RSI) and arthritis. However, this does not mean that women are more susceptible to these health problems. It simply reflects that women are concentrated in industries where jobs are more repetitive and labour intensive” (84).

Workplace Information Group. “Health Column: Health and the Working Woman.” Agenda. (1993): 84-88.

Answer 1

Myths associated with Occupational Health

1. Men are at greater risk because of the work they do

Examples: Jobs like mining, foundry work, and construction

2. Women are susceptible to more health problems when at work

The Reality about Women & Occupational Health

1. Women also face the hazards men face.

Example: Susceptibility to chemicals, dust, fumes, noise, heat, unsafe machinery, and many other health and safety problems at work.

2. In addition, women are concentrated in certain occupations where there are problems of stress, Repetitive Strain Injuries (RSI) and arthritis.

3. It shows that women are concentrated in industries where jobs are more repetitive and labor intensive.

Source: Workplace Information Group. “Health Column: Health and the Working Woman.” Agenda. (1993): 84-88