Question

what is your comment and thought for this paragraph?

Making money has always been important to me. However, so has my happiness with my job. When I first moved to LA it was hard to find a job but I refused to work in food service. I did it in high school and absolutely hated it. I did everything I could to find a job that I would be happy doing even if it wasn’t my dream career yet. I used to work 40 hours a week teaching yoga (pre-covid). I would teach classes half of the time and then lead teacher training courses the other half of the time. This has been a rewarding schedule but also very grueling. I pay a lot in bills each month; rent, car, car insurance, utilities, groceries, and I love buying clothes. It stresses me out a lot of the time because I work a lot and very hard but most of my money I make goes straight to bills and simply being able to live and get around in LA.

Something that makes me feel good about the clothes I buy is a lot of them are from resale or thrift shops. So even if they are made in China, Vietnam, and Guatemala (I noticed those are the majority of the places i saw), they have been recycled which is better to reduce waste and help the environment. If I do buy from a store I like Urban Outfitters. I looked up their policies on labor laws and found that they made statements saying they are committed to not using child or slave labor. However, I did find as well that there is no evidence that they support their employees with a livable wage. I’ve had mixed feelings about buying from Urban Outfitters for a long time. I know there’s a lot of controversy over their company and if they’re good to their workers and the environment. I also have a hard time finding things I like that fit how small I am and they nail it everytime. I hate that it feels so secretive on how these huge companies treat their employees. It seems that they care very little about people and only care about making money. Companies like Urban Outfitters make so much money it seems ridiculous to me that they don’t compensate their employees properly.

Answer 1

The hardships which a person has to endure to earn money and still how less it is to fulfil our needs has been quite smoothly established in the first para. This tries to touch the emotional aspect so that the heavier information regarding unfair wages and work conditions can be easily understood and empathised with. This is quite clever. But the second para needs to be more hard hitting stressing over the hardships these workers have to face due to the adversities.

Currently, the second para feels broken in between when the dark discussion over employment conditions gets broken due to author’s personal details about his/her likings.