"hahahahahahahahahah this is prolly the funniest shortest joke you have ever head"do you like this joke? Related Questions

"hahahahahahahahahah this is prolly the funniest shortest joke you have ever head"do you like this joke?
Asked By Snow Kid,Last Answer By easty At 2009.12,1 Answers

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....
the other is used to carry groceries.


GIMME A STAR!!if you liked it..

ya can also add me to ya contacts i post jokes everyday..

"hahahahahahahahahah this is prolly the funniest shortest joke you have ever head"do you like this joke?
Asked By Snow Kid,Last Answer By easty At 2011.03,1 Answers

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....
the other is used to carry groceries.


GIMME A STAR!!if you liked it..

ya can also add me to ya contacts i post jokes everyday..

This is the Funniest blonde joke yet!!?
Asked By αмєяìcαи ᗪαᗪ я υ,Last Answer By Aly At 2009.12,1 Answers

Horrific Accident
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."





If you thought it was funny..please star the intereseting button...thanks..=)

FUNNiEST JOKE EVER! MUST READ?
Asked By ohai :},Last Answer By DAVE At 2011.03,1 Answers

Ok, here it goes:
Arsenal

HOW GOOD IS THAT?
Star if you like it :)

This is the Funniest blonde joke yet!!?
Asked By αмєяìcαи ᗪαᗪ я υ,Last Answer By ¸.•*´`*♥ вαssєт ρυ At 2009.12,1 Answers

Horrific Accident
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Do you still appreciate hearing an old joke? How about a joke from an oldsters point of view?
Asked By Southern Comfort,Last Answer By DeeJay At 2010.10,1 Answers

An Senior Saint Interview

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!

What about this joke? if you laugh then "star" me. I hope you like the joke...?
Asked By DC,Last Answer By myturn At 2009.12,1 Answers

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw
two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered
his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,"
the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over
there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other
poor man hesitated, "You come with us, too."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said,"But sir, I also
have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car
as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied,"Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."

Ok i acn gurrantee this joke is funny??hahaha?what you say??do you like this joke?
Asked By snow kid,Last Answer By MAR -X7 At 2009.12,1 Answers

There's a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."

GIMME A STAR!if you like it.

Teens & Pre-Teens: What's the funniest joke you've heard yet?
Asked By Principessa. {✿},Last Answer By An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Wi At 2010.05,1 Answers

This one I heard from a question before, it's pretty funny xD

A female star decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday..
She spent $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay, enough now....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'OMG, That is incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't' she says.'
'I was behind you at McDonalds.'

If you thought this joke was funny star!
Thumbs up jokes you think are funny! (no thumbs down :) )

Star if you find it funny: Do you think this blond joke is in your top 10 best blond joke? If so, what rank?
Asked By ang§tgegner,Last Answer By Amanda At 2009.12,1 Answers

Blond, red haired, and brown haired girl were going to café, when they saw a poster which said:
_____________
"WE HAVE A LION OF TRUTH! IF YOU TELL HIM SOMETHING TRUE, HE WILL REWARD YOU. IF YOU DON'T - HE WILL EAT YOU. TRY OUT NOW.. IF YOU DARE!"
------------------------
They decided to take a chance.

First was brown haired girl:
"I think I'm the most beautiful girl here." - She said and lion gave her $100.

Next was red haired girl:
"I think I'm the smartest one here." - She said and lion gave her $200.

Then came blond girl:
"I think....." - And the lion eat her.

Star if you find it funny: Do you think this blond joke is in your top 10 best blond joke? If so, what rank?
Asked By ang§tgegner,Last Answer By Amanda At 2011.03,1 Answers

Blond, red haired, and brown haired girl were going to café, when they saw a poster which said:
_____________
"WE HAVE A LION OF TRUTH! IF YOU TELL HIM SOMETHING TRUE, HE WILL REWARD YOU. IF YOU DON'T - HE WILL EAT YOU. TRY OUT NOW.. IF YOU DARE!"
------------------------
They decided to take a chance.

First was brown haired girl:
"I think I'm the most beautiful girl here." - She said and lion gave her $100.

Next was red haired girl:
"I think I'm the smartest one here." - She said and lion gave her $200.

Then came blond girl:
"I think....." - And the lion eat her.

"hahaahahhaahahhah very funny joke"..do you like this very very funny joke?
Asked By Snow Kid,Last Answer By Liz At 2009.12,1 Answers

The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. Then replied, "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal."

The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.

Lilly put up her hand. "Yes, Lilly?" asked the teacher.

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good. Thanks, Lilly," said the male teacher.

He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: "Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:

First, you have NOT done your HOMEWORK.

Second, you have a DIRTY mind.

And thirdly, I fear, one day in future, you are going to be sadly disappointed!"

2005 China Top Ten 2005 Top Ten joke joke
Asked By lisa green,Last Answer By Adah George At 2011.05,1 Answers

2005 China Top Ten 2005 Top Ten joke jokes 1. Telecommunications and electric power industries of oil is almost no monopoly, it is the state, it is the people. So, it gets the profits are for the people's interests. "- December 22 SASAC Director Li Rongrong told a news conference at the State Information Office 2." China's education reform is successful! A commitment to the education scale highest in the world of education, to achieve the "two leaps": to make more than 85% of people receiving compulsory education, so that 20% of people access to higher education "- December 22 press statement the Ministry of Education exchange of Internet users who Wang Xuming 3. "drugs can not sell when the bread! Drug prices are not expensive, do not agree to a reduction "- Tung Shing Tao Zhaohui Pharmaceutical Group President in the" Billboard of Chinese Medicine "at a ceremony threw out the" bread of "4." Profits on real estate! The profits were in the end "- 11 mid-May, Ren Zhiqiang, chairman of Beijing Huayuan Real Estate in the" 2005 China's first real estate assessment of brand value and brand selection activities, "the forum to speak 5." Mine and the miners quality is not high on "- in November ore mine in Heilongjiang Qitaihe the 30th interview, said party leaders 6. "appears 'cops and robbers collusion' important reason for this treatment is too low the police" - Fu Xiaohua, deputy director of the Chengdu Railway Station police station said in an interview 7. "threshold is too high as to deprive low-income taxpayers honor" - Committee of the NPC Agriculture and Rural REN Zheng 8. "8 million farmers and laid-off workers is enormous wealth, not their How can a few hard pleasure, existence and maintenance of their present status is necessary. "- Says economist Li Yining, 9." Families of new anti-terrorism methods --- subway system free of charge, any emergency encountered, in time to help evacuate and rescue, this is a security initiative, not specifically to free as welfare. "- Lu Guanglin, general manager of Guangzhou Metro Corporation. 10." explosion of water and carbon dioxide, will not pollute the water "- who said Jilin Petrochemical

JOKE: what do YOU believe?
Asked By MANGOMIATA has awesome thighs!,Last Answer By Tara At 2009.12,1 Answers

A little girls asked her Father:

'How did the human race come about?'
The father answered: 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made.'

Two days later she asks her mother the same question.
The mother answered: 'Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.'

The confused girl returns to her father and says: 'dad, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and mama says we developed from monkeys?'

The father answers: 'Well dear, it is very simple.
I told you about the origin of my side of the family,
and your mother told you about her side.'


Sandy :O)

STAR AND PASS THIS ALONG TO YOUR FRIENDS AND BRIGHTEN THEIR DAY WITH A LAUGH!

Please help. This is not a joke,What should i do/?
Asked By Enigmatic J `s nan wilson,Last Answer By zablackw At 2010.01,1 Answers

While making the bed just now i snapped my long nail. It is bleeding and sore. I have wrapped tissue round to stop the bleeding but i don`t know whether to cover it and hope for the best or cut off the broken part. It is ripped a long way down.

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