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Parents, what would you do in this situation?

Answers:1   |   LastAnswerAt:2011.04  

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Asked at 2011.04.18 20:47:14
Parents, if your spouse was murdered (not just died, but was murdered) and you had a four-year-old child, how would you go about telling them?

Would you:

1) Tell them everything as soon as it happened (4 years of age), ie that someone killed their father/mother

2) Tell them that their other parent passed away, but make up another reason (an "easier" one for them to handle at that age)

3) Tell them that their other parent passed away, but do not tell them the truth about how until they are older (please specify the age)

4) Not tell them anything until they ask (and if they ask while they are still 4, make up something that doesn't involve death)

Please keep in mind that the other parent lives with them in the same house and so they would definitely notice after a while that they are missing.

(It's a purely hypothetical situation)
answer Pandas rock!  Answered at 2011.04.18 20:47:14
Well, i was going to choose #1 but i didn't want to scare the little fella thinking it might happen to him/her. So, i'll go with #3. I would probably tell him/her at age 8 or 9. I mean, i would in general prefer telling my child as soon as it happened because i think its important that they also know whats going on with their OWN parent and why, how, and when. But in the fact that it happened because of a MURDER, then no unless they already know what murder is but otherwise, no.

But also, what happens if the child at just four years of age, asks HOW their father died? I would say, '' Well honey, a man came in and hurt daddy'' or '' Daddy was hurt really badly.'' Knowing a man came and killed him also known as murder just isn't mature enough for a 4-year-old child to listen too.

I'm not a parent, but i just like to answer sometimes (:
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