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Hand sewing a quilt for kids to make?
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Advice needed: My neighbour's sewing circle is getting out of hand...?
Asked By ?,Last Answer By ЯἋ₥ﻞ€Ʈ At 2009.12,1 Answers

My neighbour is a vivacious 70-something lady, and keeps an impressive garden and home, and every Thursday afternoon she hosts a sewing circle of her friends. These little old ladies are usually very pleasant, but lately things have gotten out of hand.

It all began with this last growing season; one of the ladies, Gladys, had brought over some fresh cuttings, and the ladies went inside the house for the usual sewing, but something strange happened. Before an hour was over, there was loud Big Band music playing, wild shrieks of laughter, and what sounded like heavy furniture being thrown around next door! This has always been a very quiet neighbourhood, so I was quite distressed, and wondered if everything was okay.

I went over to check and make sure everything was okay; when I knocked on the door, everything suddenly got real quiet inside, and I heard a voice inside say low, "Everybody, cool it! Just let me check if it's the fuzz!" Well, my neighbour, Mabel, opens the door and says, "Oh, it's just you, Jack. Listen, can you do me a favour? Can we borrow some of those rolling papers you have to make your cigarettes? We need them for, uh, some sewing patterns....I would really appreciate it! " I was a bit startled, as much by Mabel's appearance as anything else: her eyes were as red as hamburger! I asked her if she thought her blood pressure was acting up, but she said, "Nooooooo! I'm as mellow as a daisy, jus' a-wavin' in the sun." She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and I asked if she needed any help, but she assured me she was okay, just really wanted those papers. As I was leaving to go get them, she called to me, "Hey! Can you bring some snacks over? These ladies are hungry and we need something to eat!" A chorus of giggles wafted out from the door.

Ever since then, Mabel and her cohorts have had riotous Thursday sewing circles, and I just don't know what to do. Her garden has gotten weird, too; half of it she keeps covered with netting, and one day I asked what was under the netting, and she turned on me quick and snarled, "Stay out of my garden, if you know what's good for you! You ever wonder how a knitting needle would feel in your balls?! Don't make me help you find out!"

The few times I have been allowed into her home during one of the sewing circles, the place is just overpowered with patchouli incense, and the smell of something else I can't quite place. The ladies' sewing projects look bizarre, too; the last time I was in, they were making cozies for these strange bottle things with something like stems on them. Some of the ladies tried to hide them when I came in, but Mabel said, "Don't worry about him, he knows I'll make a castrato out of him if he squeals to the pigs!" I don't understand her barnyard reference, but I chalk it up to just more of the bizarre goings-on that have been taking place.

So, as you can see, things are really out of control, and I don't know what to do. I am worried about my neighbour, but I want our quiet and peaceful neighbourhood back. What can I do?

Advice needed: My neighbour's sewing circle is getting out of hand...?
Asked By Jack B, evil 'stache,Last Answer By Uncle Wayne 7/8 At 2009.12,1 Answers

My neighbour is a vivacious 70-something lady, and keeps an impressive garden and home, and every Thursday afternoon she hosts a sewing circle of her friends. These little old ladies are usually very pleasant, but lately things have gotten out of hand.

It all began with this last growing season; one of the ladies, Gladys, had brought over some fresh cuttings, and the ladies went inside the house for the usual sewing, but something strange happened. Before an hour was over, there was loud Big Band music playing, wild shrieks of laughter, and what sounded like heavy furniture being thrown around next door! This has always been a very quiet neighbourhood, so I was quite distressed, and wondered if everything was okay.

I went over to check and make sure everything was okay; when I knocked on the door, everything suddenly got real quiet inside, and I heard a voice inside say low, "Everybody, cool it! Just let me check if it's the fuzz!" Well, my neighbour, Mabel, opens the door and says, "Oh, it's just you, Jack. Listen, can you do me a favour? Can we borrow some of those rolling papers you have to make your cigarettes? We need them for, uh, some sewing patterns....I would really appreciate it! " I was a bit startled, as much by Mabel's appearance as anything else: her eyes were as red as hamburger! I asked her if she thought her blood pressure was acting up, but she said, "Nooooooo! I'm as mellow as a daisy, jus' a-wavin' in the sun." She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and I asked if she needed any help, but she assured me she was okay, just really wanted those papers. As I was leaving to go get them, she called to me, "Hey! Can you bring some snacks over? These ladies are hungry and we need something to eat!" A chorus of giggles wafted out from the door.

Ever since then, Mabel and her cohorts have had riotous Thursday sewing circles, and I just don't know what to do. Her garden has gotten weird, too; half of it she keeps covered with netting, and one day I asked what was under the netting, and she turned on me quick and snarled, "Stay out of my garden, if you know what's good for you! You ever wonder how a knitting needle would feel in your balls?! Don't make me help you find out!"

The few times I have been allowed into her home during one of the sewing circles, the place is just overpowered with patchouli incense, and the smell of something else I can't quite place. The ladies' sewing projects look bizarre, too; the last time I was in, they were making cozies for these strange bottle things with something like stems on them. Some of the ladies tried to hide them when I came in, but Mabel said, "Don't worry about him, he knows I'll make a castrato out of him if he squeals to the pigs!" I don't understand her barnyard reference, but I chalk it up to just more of the bizarre goings-on that have been taking place.

So, as you can see, things are really out of control, and I don't know what to do. I am worried about my neighbour, but I want our quiet and peaceful neighbourhood back. What can I do?

Advice needed: My neighbour's sewing circle is getting out of hand...?
Asked By Jack B, Fed up,Last Answer By ЯἋ₥ﻞ€Ʈ DTP At 2011.03,1 Answers

My neighbour is a vivacious 70-something lady, and keeps an impressive garden and home, and every Thursday afternoon she hosts a sewing circle of her friends. These little old ladies are usually very pleasant, but lately things have gotten out of hand.

It all began with this last growing season; one of the ladies, Gladys, had brought over some fresh cuttings, and the ladies went inside the house for the usual sewing, but something strange happened. Before an hour was over, there was loud Big Band music playing, wild shrieks of laughter, and what sounded like heavy furniture being thrown around next door! This has always been a very quiet neighbourhood, so I was quite distressed, and wondered if everything was okay.

I went over to check and make sure everything was okay; when I knocked on the door, everything suddenly got real quiet inside, and I heard a voice inside say low, "Everybody, cool it! Just let me check if it's the fuzz!" Well, my neighbour, Mabel, opens the door and says, "Oh, it's just you, Jack. Listen, can you do me a favour? Can we borrow some of those rolling papers you have to make your cigarettes? We need them for, uh, some sewing patterns....I would really appreciate it! " I was a bit startled, as much by Mabel's appearance as anything else: her eyes were as red as hamburger! I asked her if she thought her blood pressure was acting up, but she said, "Nooooooo! I'm as mellow as a daisy, jus' a-wavin' in the sun." She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and I asked if she needed any help, but she assured me she was okay, just really wanted those papers. As I was leaving to go get them, she called to me, "Hey! Can you bring some snacks over? These ladies are hungry and we need something to eat!" A chorus of giggles wafted out from the door.

Ever since then, Mabel and her cohorts have had riotous Thursday sewing circles, and I just don't know what to do. Her garden has gotten weird, too; half of it she keeps covered with netting, and one day I asked what was under the netting, and she turned on me quick and snarled, "Stay out of my garden, if you know what's good for you! You ever wonder how a knitting needle would feel in your balls?! Don't make me help you find out!"

The few times I have been allowed into her home during one of the sewing circles, the place is just overpowered with patchouli incense, and the smell of something else I can't quite place. The ladies' sewing projects look bizarre, too; the last time I was in, they were making cozies for these strange bottle things with something like stems on them. Some of the ladies tried to hide them when I came in, but Mabel said, "Don't worry about him, he knows I'll make a castrato out of him if he squeals to the pigs!" I don't understand her barnyard reference, but I chalk it up to just more of the bizarre goings-on that have been taking place.

So, as you can see, things are really out of control, and I don't know what to do. I am worried about my neighbour, but I want our quiet and peaceful neighbourhood back. What can I do?

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